Hi De Hide Hedgehog

23 Jan

While staying with the Others Half’s Uncle and Aunt we happened one evening to notice a small spiky creature clambering into one of my shoes.  As you can see from the pictures below he/she was having a grand old. So enjoy the pictures and then I’ll let you know what happened next.

hedgehog-3

Climbing into shoe – Photo © 2013 P. Dodgshun

hedgehog-2

Leaving the Shoe – Photo © 2013 P. Dodgshun

You’ll be pleased to know I’m alright. There were no side effects of having a hedgehog in your shoe despite what certain sections of the media like to portray. However, the hedgehog in question is dead!

The group’s first reaction to this was sadness which then was immediately replaced by accusations of murder that were directed firmly at me, in particular the odour of my left foot.

This self-appointed kangaroo court’s half-baked assumptions were based on no medical evidence, but still they decided my left foot was guilty . In a metaphorically sense I was not only on the back foot, but also wrong footed and almost without a leg to stand on!

However, I loved my left foot and I would set out to prove its innocent. First step Google and my search criteria was ‘Dead Hedgehogs why?

The first hundred and seventeen pages basically covered road accidents and the accepted theory that a car’s ability to drive at 70mph versus’  that of hedgehog to waddle at 0.3mph meant that in 99.9% of cases the hedgehog would not be able to dodge the automobile, even if the car was travelling at a min speed of 10mph. This was no road accident! (my case bearing similarities to this).

I was almost at the point of giving up when I came across a rare hedgehog illness call RSD (reverse spine death). RSD is a genetic illness where a single or group of spines (also know as the pointy/prickly bits, needles, or spikes)  grow inward instead of outward. So as the hedgehog grows they in turn shorten their life until finally they feel a bit of a prick and then it’s all over! Off to hedgehog heaven.

This had to be what happened to Lord Anthony Huxtable the Third (I’d given the hedgehog a name so he wasn’t just a number, in addition this is something an alleged  murderer would never do).

With my solid gold RSD fact I ran out to find the Other Half and her Uncle and Aunt. They were busily building a gallows and I had to cough loudly to gain their attention. I then explained all about RSD and what had happened to Lord Anthony Huxtable the Third. Anyway, long story short they begrudgingly admitted that this might be the reason for the death of Lord Anthony Huxtable the Third . However, they were bitterly disappointed to abandon the planned hanging and wondered if I wanted to give it a go? I told them I’d prefer a cup of tea, I suspect this wasn’t the answer they wanted.

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2 Responses to “Hi De Hide Hedgehog”

  1. Nicola January 24, 2013 at 9:44 pm #

    There’s a spelling mistake in the third sentence.

  2. Pip January 25, 2013 at 8:40 am #

    That’s the teacher coming out Nic!!! I just love the hedgehog’s ‘posthumus’ name – pity the poor lad wasn’t alive to use it!

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